PENS, PAIN AND PARTYING
In recent weeks, there has been endless discourse on why so many people hate Arsenal. Yet, yesterday’s parade in the cultural melting pot of north London proved that plenty of people out there really, really, really love them. Due in no small part to the fact that he couldn’t head his penalty and none of his teammates were blocking the PSG goalkeeper, Gabriel Magalhães’ miss from the spot meant the Gunners came up agonisingly short in their latest bid to win Bigger Cup. That didn’t stop the thick end of a million Arsenal fans of every age, stripe and shade from making the pilgrimage to Islington to worship their vanquished heroes. With the Premier League trophy already in the bag, the general mood ratio of unbridled joy to crushing disappointment was about 75-25, a statistic many will recognise as being almost identical to the previous evening’s possession stats in the Puskas Arena.
Considering how close they came to actually winning Bigger Cup, Football Daily isn’t about to suggest Mikel Arteta’s approach to the game once his side went a goal up after six minutes was the wrong one. When your greatest strength is your defence and you’re up against the best attacking side on the planet, then clinging on to your lead with an almost-but-not-quite perfect masterclass in backs-to-the-wall defending and breathtaking time-wasting is probably as good a way of going about things as any. That said, when you see the champions of a league that purports to be the best in the world playing like a team of National League South minnows trying to close out an FA Cup third-round upset, you can’t help but wonder if Arteta might have placed a little more trust in his excellent attacking players. Some could have used the time they weren’t wasting by performatively dawdling at throw-ins and corners by doing a little bit more ... y’know, attacking.
“We had to be patient when playing against a team like Arsenal,” chirped PSG orchestra conductor Vitinha after the game. “Because they take a lot of time in everything; throw-ins, goal kicks, everything. Especially as Arsenal were leading at one point, it’s difficult. Arsenal waste a lot of time at every opportunity. Apart from that, they play with a low block. It’s difficult.” While Arteta, his players and their travelling fans were clearly devastated to let such a massive opportunity slip, not everyone was sorry to see them lose. Even before Gabriel’s penalty had landed in the Danube, Tottenham striker Richarlison, the Irish flag-carrier Aer Lingus, and whatever Chelsea Football Club is these days had taken to various Social Media Disgraces to riff, bebop and scat all over Arteta and his players’ pain.
“They are a superb team and I congratulate them,” he said of the winners. “You have to go through the emotions and if you’re in pain, then go through the pain. If you think you could do something else, then learn from it. Reflect on that and show the ambition that we want to have again.” The question of whether Arsenal’s paucity of ambition on Saturday was a contributory factor to their defeat or helped them avoid an absolute shellacking is one that will be debated endlessly but never answered. Still, the mood yesterday around Islington was chipper in the extreme as several open-topped buses were unparked to travel the five-mile route. While their many detractors will continue to hate and bait a team who can be difficult to warm to, the atmosphere in north London was a welcome blend of joy, inclusivity and love.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Liverpool’s 20th league title belongs to all of us and it will remain an important chapter in its history. For that we should all be proud … I also leave knowing the club is exactly where it belongs: among Europe’s elite. Securing Champions League football was an important responsibility and one that ensures Liverpool can continue competing at the highest level next season and beyond” – Arne Slot issues a classy statement, with a couple of pointed reminders, after being heaved through Anfield’s Door Marked Do One on Saturday.

“Not really my thing to be nice about Liverpool, but when I was young, they did actually deserve to win a lot, and most of my more bovine classmates were happy most years. But occasionally, they did need to revamp a previously successful, but now ageing team. For example, someone once had to tell Jimmy Case he was being replaced by Sammy Lee and was now only good enough for Brighton, which must have taken some cojones. They’d then do something random, like sign someone from Chester, and win everything the next year. My point being, if various no-marks like Shankly, Paisley, Fagan and Dalglish could pull this off, perhaps they don’t need to go down the route of ruining managers because their fanbase have no patience. Just saying” – Jon Millard.
“Re: Tim Payne’s song [Friday’s Football Daily]. I was disappointed to discover it doesn’t go ‘You’re Tim Payne’, sung to the tune of this soft rock classic” – Andy Korman.
If you have any, please send letters to [email protected]. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … Andy Korman. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Football Weekly is here! The pod squad unpack the Bigger Cup final fallout and discuss the end of Arne Slot’s reign at Liverpool. Listen here.
MILNER CALLS TIME
The former *deep breath* Leeds, Newcastle, Aston Villa, Manchester City, Liverpool and Brighton midfielder, James Milner, announced his retirement on Monday, ending a career that lasted so long he played against footballers who are now managers, pundits and, in some cases, probably grandparents. Milner made his debut for Leeds at the age of 16, and leaves the sport with a record 658 Premier League appearances, three league titles, a Big Cup, two FA Cups, two Fizzy Cups, a Club World Cup and the distinction of having spent the past decade looking exactly the same age.
“I could never have dreamed of the journey I’ve been on,” Milner tooted on social media. “I’ve been fortunate enough to experience some unforgettable moments, from fighting for survival to winning trophies, playing in Europe, and representing my country, England. To those who supported me every step of the way, your encouragement meant more than you’ll ever know. And to those who gave me grief along the way, thank you too – you all played your part in making the journey memorable and helping shape me as a player and person.” Take that, haters.

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